Yesterday was a crazy day. I was so busy from morning to night posting and writing about no technology and how to limit the use of it in your child's home, bla bla, etc. My day in the classroom was crazy and thinking of talking to parents, expressing my concerns, figuring out what's best for each child and how to communicate those needs with each parent, writing up my newsletter which was like a dissertation- I was burnt out!
When we got home I was so tired and exhausted I needed to rest. I had my husband and oldest daughter get dinner ready. I was told to come out for a surprise as she had set the table and helped to cook some of the food. She was so happy and proud and we had a lovely meal together. After which I promised I would put her to bed and read.
At the point where she came to bed, my phone exploded with text messages asking about a fundraising event for this Sunday. In my haste to communicate and email, and update on Facebook I kept her by my side telling her I'm almost done. She'd lay there patiently and asked, "can you read to me?" I kept telling her I'm almost done, while continuing. After about the 3rd time, I noticed a deep breathing and then realized she had fallen asleep. I dropped my ipod and cried.
I had let my own child down. My whole day that had been about limiting the use of technology for children somehow hadn't applied to me. I had been consumed with communicating with others that I forgot to communicate with my own dear sweet child who had cooked and cleaned and helped me relax, and had only wanted to spend some time with me, her mother before we put our heads down for the night.
I apologized to a sleeping body and held her as much as I could, but the moment had passed. The day was done, it will never return again. For this, I am deeply ashamed, sad, and forlorn.